Fear is one of those ‘negative’ emotional that you try to avoid. Its unpleasant, even gripping if uncontrolled. However, fear is also necessary to the human condition.
Lately I’ve been exploring the subject of fear. I have plenty of fears of my own, so many in fact, its been hindering my efforts to move forward in my life to the point where I feel rather depressed and frustrated with things. Normally one doens’t enjoy putting their fear under scrutiny, but this is necessary if you hope to master it.
The first step to mastering fear is recognizing the fear. Not everyone can name their fears specifically. They prefer to avoid unpleasantness, laugh things off, find ways to procrastinate, or re-direct their attention to more pleasant things. To overcome fear, you must be able to accept the fear.
The next step is to find the cause of fear. Saying you have a fear of failure doesn’t clarify the reason why you fear failure. You need to ask yourself “What’s the worst the can happen?”. If you face your fear, will the world fall apart? Will it be the terrible thing you imagine it would be. A quote I once heard says, “Fear makes the wolf bigger”, so imagining the worst changing nothing in the actual state of being.
You can’t live without fear. Its part of the human condition, but ‘Courage is not the lack of fear; its having fear and facing that fear’. Facing fear and realizing things are not as bad as they seem can certainly add to lessening worries.
Some tips on facing fears:
- Use positive affirmation and self talk. Instead of focusing on the negative, focus on the positive. Instead of seeing what is to be lost by doing something, focus on what is to be gained.
- Ask yourself if your fears realistic? I used to worry incessantly about my son. I think women tend to be wet-wired for this, but my fears would be things like; what if he gets cancer? What if he gets mauled? What if I screw him so bad he ends up a killer or something? Are these fears realistic? No because I wasn’t seeing things as they are now, but creating scenarios based on fear only.
- Accept fear happens. Its what makes you human. Work through fear to accomplish your goals.
- Having fear and finding courage offers to hone you against adversary.
You can overcome fear, whihc doesn’t necessarily mean it will all go away, but you can master it.