Tuesday Tip: Dealing with liars

I encounter from time to time a type of person in dire need of feeling important. This of course is what I assume when I’m dealing with someone who repeated lies to me about things. It can be something simple from an excuse as to why they didn’t come to a scheduled meeting to something more sinister such as making up stories about people they may or may not exist.

But when and if I suspect someone is lying to me, it irks me to no end.

Worse still if you can’t catch them in the lie. I suppose that sounds paranoid, but people often give tiny hints about lies in very subtle ways.

Here are a few tips to catch em;

– Many people have a ‘tell’, which is a behavior they can’t help but do when they make a direct lie. It can be something like averted gaze, a slight nod of the head, or in one case I know, the woman’s eye brows lifted up to appear more innocent. Oddly its when her brows were down you knew she told the truth.

– Their stories have no cause other than to impress. This bothers me greatly when I meet someone and they dump very dramatic stores that include attempted murder, stalking, death, or other very emotionally driven topics to a perfect stranger. I wouldn’t dream of sharing a loss of pregnancy, or traumatic event to someone I just met. Those stories are saved for friends that prove themselves to be reliable.

– When you challenge then, they change the subject. The reason is because they can’t maintain the lie or haven’t thought it out well enough. Sometimes they end up not being as knowledgeable as you are on the subject.

Some people simply base judgement on ‘a bad vibe’ which is very likely your ability to pick up on the very subtle body language of a liar. I tend to trust those ‘instincts’. But take a moment and consider reasons as to why someone is lying. Sometimes its insecurity. Sometimes its because they are embarrassed or they don’t want to offend anyone.

What are your thoughts? Do you pick up on lies pretty well? Do you find you might use lies for whatever reason? What do you think about this topic?

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