Synthesizing happiness

I follow CharmingPixieFlora on youtube with her wonderful videos on tips and ideas with pagan flair. Her video the other day encompassed the idea of setting your mood for the day, to welcome more positive things in your life.

You might be thinking “Yeah, whatever. That’s so new age or fluffy bunny’. but here’s the thing; its true.

Dan Gilbert, a Harvard Professor of Social Psychology, found in a number of studies that even synthesized happiness shows the same benefits as true happiness. (video). His book, Stumbling on Happiness, also explores our expectations and what we think will make us happy; that we choose to be happy or miserable.

I feel most of our misery stems from our expectations. We expect to be treated in a certain way, that our efforts will bring results, that we get rewarded for our actions. But why? What rule was set in place that decided that? Wouldn’t that imply Life is fair?

You’re expecting rewards. And this is where you get the ‘bad things’ when you try to live a good life.  Its not the reward or lack of reward that’s the issue; it’s the having expectations in the first place. Let that go, and you can often find peace and acceptance.

Life is a camera

Don’t feed the negatives. Wallowing in our own misery, affirming that we are, in fact, sad/angry/unworthy, serves to make the problem bigger. Sometimes our misery stems from wallowing in the moment of unhappiness. Know that situations change; they always do, so eventually you’ll see the light at the end of the tunnel. Feed the positive, the solution, the potential of change instead.

attitude

What are your thoughts? Do you feed the darkness within? What sort of inner voices speaks to you when you’re down? How can you change your thinking/feeling/attitude to improve things?

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