I dealt with severe depression for many years, lamenting my woes by journal and wallowing in my self loathing/grief/misery. When I came to a breaking point, my ‘aha’ moment, I realized I didn’t want to die, but that I wanted the pain to end. To do that, I recognized I must do whatever it takes to get better.
One methods I used was to quit the wallowing.
I refused to give negative thinking any more energy. In my journals, I’d stop myself from griping about all the horrible things in my life, make a tiny mark to indicate such thinking would end, and I forced myself to focus on anything positive. If I had a bad day, I wrote about a positive experience in the past, or something I hoped for in the future.
The change wasn’t sudden or overnight, but change did come. My brain shifted into a stronger, pro-active way of thinking of things. Problems became challenges to be overcome, experiences to make me stronger.
I found my negative thinking was a habit that required some effort to break. Every now and then I’d find myself wallowing again, or bitching about things, and very little focus given to the good things in my life. I remained, however, persistent.
Start journaling (and if you already journal, you can still do this), but find a nice pen, a fresh blank journal, and tell yourself that in this journal, you will not focus your energy on the negative. This is not to say you can’t write about the bad, but you can’t use language stating this as a constant. You need to focus on solutions, or what you’ll learn from this experience.
Dealing with a jerk? Wonderful! Imagine how much better your people skills will be. Dealing with a job loss? Great! Now you can find something you love to do, or a job that offers new experiences, training, potentially new friends, etc.
Change colors or use special pens of unusual shape, or ink. Add drawings, poems, or words of wisdom to help focus on the positive.