Life’s offered lots of ups and downs for me. I’m currently in counseling for depression, but also for marriage counseling. Its an emotional wringer. I also don’t like having to make those admissions of guilt when asked direct questions. I’m hoping it will be worth the strain.
Its unrealistic to go to counseling and not expect facing the responsibility of ourselves. Somehow the depression therapy is better- its just me. With marriage counseling, I have to give up a bit of pride (as my husband does) to reach that middle point. I just feel I’ve strived for that middle point already, and it didn’t help before.
But no action means our marriage will definitely take a dive, and I don’t want my son a child of divorced parents. Its not easy switching between two homes, or catching the fallout of angry parents. I’ve been there, done that.
Not to say you should stay in a miserable marriage, but no marriage should be given up with a good effort to stay together.
Today I’m kind of bummed because I planned to attend a memorial service of a friend who passed on. Unfortunately, my son had this scout event and came home too late for me to leave. (I didn’t want him coming home to an empty house, and David is working). This left me to send my apologies, and I feel so lame about it.
I’ve also been so exhausted lately. I just can’t seem to sleep through the night or when I do, I don’t feel as though I’ve slept enough. I wonder if its because of the time change?
Maybe its depression too. I haven’t felt like doing anything; not organizing my meetups, not hanging with friends, not much of anything.
Even now, I could just curl up and sleep.